A Warrior Has No Safety Net
I walk on the precarious edge
of the new and the old,
wanting to shed
the locks and liesof a mechanical world,
eager to diveinto the smooth coolwater of abundant life.
*********
I am young,
I am a woman,
I live in a land where I can choose.
There are disco lights
and magnetic forces
pulling me into The Tunnel--
The Tunnel where everyone goes.
Almost everyone.
It vacuums up mall shoppers
and telemarketers,
executives and bartenders.
It promises clean sheets
and Mickey Mouse vacations,
automatic garage doors
and cell phone communications.
If you choose The Tunnel
you will never have to be cold
or hungry or alone.
There are pills to erase headaches
and drinks to drown hearthaches.
There are movies to make you laugh
and cars to move you fast.
If you don't like your face,
surgery will change its shape.
There is no need for God
The Tunnel will keep you safe.
But if you stop believing,
oh! If you stop believing...
The Tunnel will disintegrate
and leave you swimming in a septic tank.
*********
My choice is clear.
I am stepping slowly
into the quiet open land beyond.
There are no roads, no maps, no guides.
There is no insurance coverage, no training school.
Edible vegetation is sparse.
Rain trickles down my back
as I fumble with reeds to make a hat.
Through the mist
I catch a thread of song
and rise to see a band of barefoot sisters
approach with open arms.
With nothing more than faith and grace,
our dance has just begun.
- Kirstin George
Time is going so very quickly! It is hard to believe that we will be finishing the semester over the next few weeks - and that I am at the point where I will have to make some very real decisions about practicum placements!
After blanketing the English speaking Oxfam network (Geneva, Brussles, New York, Vancouver, Ottawa, London, New Zealand) with requests for information and internship possibilities I have only had form responses referring me to their job list page. I have not heard back from London or Geneva again, and would like to place a call to the London office early tomorrow morning.
I have been speaking with Heidi of the Indian Insitute for Mothers and Child, and am very interested in their maternal health program and also the women's peace and empowerment program. I am sensitive that this is the location that Tiffany has chosen, and have been speaking with her regularly about her thoughts on being placed at the same location. Heidi is also sensitive to this, and has spoken to both of us about our feelings about doing internships at the same place. Tiffany has told me that she is ok with working in the same area, and we have committed to conitnuing to check in with one another about it. I am comfortable with it - Tiffany and I do not know eachother well and I wouldn't be concerned about us being dependant on eachother in a new environment - while it also would be nice to have a classmate to share/debrief/learn with. I want to be sensitive to Tiffany's needs, while not creating an 'issue' when there seems to not be one.
I am drawn to the work that the IIMC is doing - they seem to have a great women's health program and I could become involved in the repoductive health initiatives. I am also interested in their rural development programs and there are some possibilities for me to partake in these as well. Through working with the IIMC I could gain an understanding of working within an Indian organization and could grasp a deeper knowledge of Indian culture and social work practice.
This whole experience is helping me to see how I am choosing to live my life more clearly. I havn't been dealing with things in a sustainable way, and I am having health concerns arise to help me learn this. I am seeking ways of integrating school into my larger life, and will be letting go of a lot of the different directions that I have been going in over the next semester. I think that this will help.
At this point I am not doing extensive searches on many other practicum options. I would like to find an opening within Oxfam International if possible - and will continue to explore this further, but so far, nothing. I am confident and excited about the IIMC option as well - and grateful to have this as a possibility.
After spending the last week in and around London, I am intrigued by the myriad of social services that have their headquarters in this area. By chance I was able to visit one of the central Oxfam offices, and I spoke with a woman who has been employed with Oxfam as an international social worker over the last five years. It was interesting to speak to her and gain a greater understanding of international social work in the European context, and to learn more about Oxfam's work. I was not aware previously of Oxfam's commitment to environmental work as it relates to social wellbeing around the world.
It would be an interesting placement to work with a group such as Oxfam as they have offices around the world and work in a variety of contexts. There are possible future employment possibilities here - as well as the benefit that Oxfam works with a variety of contexts and there could be a wide diversity of practicum possibilities. I asked for a few cards while I was at the offices, and will call to follow up with some of the people that I met when I return. It is exciting to be able to visit some possibilities in person.
The panic has set in this week. I am feeling the crunch of the semester, the overwhelm of trying to get my work done and keeping my mind ahead of me enough to plan for this practicum. I am moving from Banff to Calgary in December, my partner is leaving to start a PhD program at the University of British Columbia in January and I am contemplating another new city, new life and the final year of my MSW program. My mind is going in a million directions and I have to find new ways to implement self-care into my life. Yes - this will all come together, I know. I just need to keep breathing in the meantime!
Yes, overwhelm is here. I need to become clearer about what I want from this practicum. I have been following some good leads - I am working on the UNIFEM internship application that I will send off to the New York office and some of the other locations. Tiffany and I had a long conversation about the Indian Institute for Mothers and Children outside of Kolkata and I have sent off an email to the program coordinator there for some more information. I have cold-emailed UNICEF offices across India, searched NGO head offices in Geneva, spoken to friends who work with CHF and the Canadian Cooperative Association. I am jumping in interest and focus, and need to rest my mind on the direction that I want to follow.
Right now I am looking for an organization that has a feminist focus, works with women and children, is preventative and proactive in their approach (at least partly) works both at the grassroots and at the policy/systems levels, is in an interesting location and that offers the chance for me to gain skill sets that will make sense for the work that I will do within the Canadian context.
Skills that I would like to gain: group work, health care experience (reproductive/maternal health and rights), work with refugee populations, ‘leadership' skills (how to run an NGO), an understanding and view of policy work/how policy is implemented in NGO's or umbrella organizations such as the UN. I know that it may not be possible to work in all of these areas throughout this practicum, but these are some of the directions that I would be interested in moving in.
Places that I have interest in working in: India, Nepal, New York, Geneva, Kenya.
I have faith in the process and know that this will all come together - I just have to keep myself out there!
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