Yes. Woah.

Waiting....

The flight was delayed, and finally in the wee hours of the morning (3 am) I made my way to the airport. Blurry eyed and backpacked, I wandered the deserted hallways of YYC until I heard the sounds of wakefulness and stumbled upon the caffeine ridden lines of British Airways flight 103. Stacked with passengers who had been waylaid for days (some as much as a week), the people who were checking us in croaked out tired phrases: "I am sorry sir, this is an unknown situation to us, we do not know if the plane will actually take off. We do not know where the flight will take you. We can not answer that question - and no, we don't know where your baggage is."

The flight was to take off almost of full 8 hours before British airspace was to open. 25 minutes from arrival the pilots would judge the safety of the airspace, and offer the passengers the option of landing at Hethrow as anticipated, or redirecting to Madrid, Paris or even Athens. "If you have a place to stay here, honey, I'd take it" the sleepy stewardess told me. "I don't think you are going to make it."

35,000 feet above the rolling sea in a cloud of glass-filled ash aside, the idea of finding myself trapped in the airport in Paris with no chance of an escape for croissants was enough to send me back home. Driving back to my parents house watching the filling moon through the rear view mirror I started to think about the chance to process and rest. And yes, maybe even to plan ahead.

The last few years have been months of 'doing'. Finishing, starting, pushing and racing toward some end that I can't possibly know until I find myself screeching over the ravine of change. This is it, I thought to myself. The chance to shift the facefirst fall, the race to an end that never exists.

I could feel the silky veil of school life slipping away, leaving behind the gloss of sunsets witnessed over new places and stories that I tell myself about how I can share a glimpse of unexpected color in a busy bazaar. The weight on my shoulders from days spent squinting at my computer screen subsiding, leaving behind the ease of my trusty, dusty green bag, leaving me walking like a tortoise - home firmly on my back.

Of all of the things that I thought I could worry about, an erupting volcano spewing ash and smoke all across European airspace was not one of them.

I have spent today glued to British Airways website, looking up my flight number in the hopes of a miraculous clearing of the weather before midnight tomorrow night. I keep thinking about my niece in the UK, and then onward to India and my work with Navdanya.

I found out a few days ago that I will not be working in Delhi as originally thought. Temperatures are rising there every day, and so most of the people who work in the offices have moved to the Dehradun site to seek a bit of relief from the extreme temperatures in the Himilayan foothills. This news is a bit of a relief to me, as the stories of the color, business and colossal sensory information in Delhi have preceded her! Dehradun promises monkeys, work on Navdanya's farm, a more localized community, and at least the possibility of getting my hands into some warm soil a few times. As a friend of mine put it, "alright volcano, it is really time to 'move your ash'"!

Finally! I have heard back from Navdanya and they have accepted my application for a practicum placement! Yay! I am eagerly looking forward to the next steps of formalizing some of the specifics and getting a plane ticket! Everything seems to be coming together.

I am sequestered away over reading break on the far west coast of Vancouver Island in the small community  of Bamfield, sheltered by a roaring fireplace and a wall of Vandana Shiva's books. I am trying to learn everything that I can. What does food sovereignty mean? How does food security link with broader social issues? How is Ms. Shiva's work applicable in a Canadian/International context? What can I bring to this organization with my unique perspective as a social worker? Where does ecofeminism stand within the larger field of eco justice and ecology? I am having the chance to have some wonderful conversations and learning opportunities, surrounded by my brother and partner who are both biologists.

I am amazed at how Navdanya's work brings together so many of my interests, and offers a chance to work at many levels of organization and structure.  While it sounds like the learning opportunities are vast and fairly open and flexible, for my own sanity I would like to have at least a vague idea of what I could be involved with when I arrive there.  I love the idea of working with a group of students around environmental issues, and I think it would be very important to be at Navdanya for the organizational meetings which fall around the ‘Grandmothers University' from April 10th - 12th. Vandana Shiva will be at these meetings, and from my understanding, the best chance to work with her directly will come from being involved with these meetings. Being in India for these dates means that I will have to be leaving soon - and perhaps will have to leave school a week early. It is an opportunity that seems too good to miss though!

I feel myself starting to become excited now. It feels like this opportunity is becoming real, and I am recognizing that in a month and a half I will be on my way toward an amazing learning opportunity!

In response to:
Bourassa, J. (2009). Psychosocial interventions and mass populations. International Social Work, 52(6), pp. 743-755.

It seems to me that Bourassa comes from a more clinical framework and has seen it as a part of her practice to work toward the reframing of social work methodology. While her critiques of a more medical approach (i.e PTSD) are valid, I feel that the leadership perspective of social work has already moved beyond this place. I wonder though if this conversation would hold more relevancy (and potentially challenge?) with a clinical group of students? Or if the focus of University of Calgary's program has moved away from this over the last few years?

This article raises further questions for me about the role of the individual/family/community in social change. Where is the best place for support? When is it best to support each various grouping? In the context of a disaster, how do we prioritize 'needs' (physical, psychological) without overlooking something based on our 'outsider' lens?

In my understanding at this point, creating, facilitating and maintaining a space for community members (collectively and individually) to maintain dignity through having purpose (and coming to their own understanding of meaning) through rebuilding is essential. Instead of 'facilitating', those working within the context of a disaster situation should focus on opening and holding space for community members to emerge and engage as leaders. What does this mean in the context of emergency provisions? How to hold a balance between service provision (shock treatment) and practice that empowers? How can we break down divisions so that all options include and are based upon principles of empowerment and capacity? So many questions here....

Sometimes I feel that as academics we can lose our way in rhetoric. Clinical, leadership, community development, each practice is triumphed above the others. I strive in for a practice of wholism - and while labels can be helpful in understanding and defining this I continue to ask myself what does wholism mean to me? Right now it means seeing the whole (PIE - Person in Environment -, maintaining a perspective of 'spirit', and opening to 'not knowing' and instead to 'listening'). It is a balance to both 'listen' and 'act', and one that I learn new lessons from each day.

Oppressed people, insecure and with a weak spirit,possess little vision for their future, in effect saying, “What do Iwant? I don’t know: Tell me” (Smith et. al 1997; Smith 1995).

One of the students in our class posted the attached article to our Blackboard discussion in the Tools for Social Change course. I appreciate the approach of the article, and its emphasis on the process of development behind the technologies. No technology nor intervention could work in a situation where people have become imbued with oppressions.  As Friere writes, ‘once oppressed, the mind is lost, the spirit is broken and the body is tied’ (Pedagogy of the Oppressed).  

Oppression can take the form of a deep hatred for self and other. Over the last few years I have worked with women who have been in abusive relationships. In the last session that I participated in, a woman verbally attacked another woman for staying with her abusive partner. This situation brought internalized oppression to a new level for me.  Internalized oppression continues the divide, breaks solidarity and defaces self-efficacy. Where can the cycle be broken? What can be done about internalized oppression within the context of ‘development’ (‘transformation’???) work? What does it mean to work toward capacity, resilience and self-efficacy?   How can this work be started so that it moves from the inside, out?

These questions seem to be at the core of social work practice. In truth, perhaps there is no correct response, only questions, a commitment to presence and the importance of the action/reflection cycle.  Again, I take from the Smith and Marin article when they state;   

“ “Outsiders” can work with “insiders” to generate a hopeful energy, while asking simultaneously important questions about the synergistic negative effects of toxins, malnutrition, beliefs of the “evil eye” and isolation on the health and creativity of local people over time. There is no breakdown or step-by-step recipe for this type of iterative, evolving humanistic work that combines serious inquiry with determined action and loving compassion.” (p.1).

How do we balance ‘serious inquiry’ (questioning) with ‘determined action’  (which seems to imply a sense of directionality). These qualities seem opposed to one another, and yet each seem important to the process. 

No answers here – but more questions. But then again, perhaps questions do become the answers when asked with presence, commitment, and a mind open to learning?

Yesterday, almost out of the blue, a seed planted in early September produced a shoot. This practicum finding business is hard work! A friend of mine has become closely affiliated with UNHCR - USA out of Washington.  I had asked her to look into practicum possibilities for myself and one of my classmates (Musa), and had not heard back for all of these months. Yesterday she called, and said that she had had the chance to speak to someone who is the ED of UNHCR - USA. She gave me this person's personal email, and asked me to contact him for further information! Excitedly, I spoke to Musa, and we strategized about the best way to make and maintain contact with the organization. On Friday afternoon I sent an email introducing ourselves, and asking the contact if he had any further resources or information that could be of help to us. By Friday afternoon, I had received a long, thoughtful and lovely email from the person containing 10 direct emails of UNHCR staff in Washington, Ottawa and Geneva. Wow!!

Musa is going to move forward in contacting these individuals in the hopes of seeking a practicum with them. I am happy to be able to be a part of this connection for him  - as I so hope that Musa is able to find a way to connect his passion with a practicum. It seems clear to me that he is so meant for work with the UNHCR as his life and pursuit of social work come from his involvement with this agency.

As I think about Musa I find myself wondering where my passion is - what is the work that would manifest my life experiences, and allow me to offer the most? I know that this work has something to do with working with women and children (maternal health, childbirth, reproductive health) and that I am passionate in working with prevention, promotion and support of health and well-being. I have tried to be on the intervention side of work and I found it difficult and draining. So what does this mean in the context of an international practicum this summer? What skills do I hope to gain?

-       Direct skills in facilitation/work with women and children
-       An understanding of what ‘women's empowerment program' might mean
-       Some skills that are transferable and useful to women (micro-credit? Maternal well-being, food sovereignty)
-       Skills in translating from the grassroots level to policy level
-       Skills in organizing, supporting programming aimed at women's groups

I am appreciating our work in Thursday night's class with Ary. I feel that I am gaining the skills to be able to express where my skills are and what I can bring to the table as a Social Worker (and everything else that I am!) Before this course I had some fear about expressing my underlying concern that as a  Social Worker I felt that I did not have a valuable skill set to use in International work. I can't set bones, or provide clean water.... So what can I do? This question has become particularly relevant in the context of the tragedy in Haiti. I so want to be able to ‘help' - and yet what does this really mean? What skills do I have? What does it really mean to be of assistance?

In our class, Ary is encouraging us to think of ourselves as the advocates of ‘process', particularly of the ‘human process'. What does this mean to me? That I assist in facilitation, connection making and relationship building. I seek to understand (or at least see) underlying conditions and contexts. This is certainly a part of what International Social Work means - what else can it be for me?

It was a powerful weekend for me as I had the chance to do some reflection and to gain a greater perspective on what this practicum means to me. Adam (my partner) was visiting, and we had the chance to think more about this opportunity in the context of our lives both personally and professionally. I feel incredibly lucky to have found such a supportive partner, and to have a relationship that places each of our own development and learning at its core.

As we spoke, I realized that I am confident in my emerging choice to pursue Navdanya. As I looked at the facts (what actually is, rather than what I want to be true J) I realized that I still do not have enough information to make a full decision. I still have to be accepted by Navdanya, and I am moving too far ahead of myself if I make a choice before fully being accepted! So - I have decided to move in this avenue first. I have completed their full application and am in communication around the specifics of possible projects and supervision with the office supervisor at Navdanya. They seem to have opportunities both at their office in New Dehli as well as at the farm in Dehradun. I am hoping that the opportunity at the farm comes through, but am open to being in the office as well.

I have decided at this time not to actively pursue options in Kenya. I am fairly confident that things there could come together quite quickly if I wanted to reopen this opportunity, and I have put all of the materials that I would need for this into a file that I am ‘holding' for now. Opportunities in Kenya sound amazing - but I would like to fully pursue Navdanya before moving on. I also found out that a close friend of mine spent a month at Navdanya a few years ago. She had an incredible experience, and speaks very highly of the work that is done there. This personal connection helps to alleviate some of my nervousness about finding a placement - and helps me to become excited!

Having direction feels good - taking action also feels good - and I was glad to have the chance to sit down and move forward. Yay! One step closer.

In reading Chitereka's article "Social Work Practice in a Developing Continent: The Case of Africa" I found myself reflecting on the role of social work as a whole. While Chitereka raises many valid arguments about the colonial framework of Social Work in Africa, I think that his points are also important when applied to a wider scope of Social Work practice - including Canadian practice.  Typically social workers have been used or co-opted as agents of state control. I would argue that modern day social workers often play oppressive, and controlling roles especially in the fields of child welfare and health care - although oppressive practice is certainly not limited to these areas. Chitereka's article suggests the following question to me: how can we broaden our practice globally to encourage non - oppressive work? How can we work collaboratively, to liberate and engage local populations. What communities should we work within (this is a question that we need to each answer individually)? Is it possible to see beyond our cultural and political blind-spots? How can we mitigate our blinders if we can not remove them all together? As a whole how do we shift paradigms and make ourselves and the work that we do relevant, engaged and powerful? How can we shift from being agents of control to agents of empowerment (re-empowerment, co-empowerment?)

I certainly do not agree with Chitereka's definition of social work as a "professional approach to ameliorating social problems". What about prevention, community building (referred to in the most beautiful way last night as common-unity building) and health promotion? We must shift toward the building of that which is positive, while noting our challanges. Yes, this change is implied in the shift toward a social development paradigm, and yet is a paradigm shift enough to make the changes that we need? I think it is beyond framework - we need a re-envisioning of what social work means. We have to step beyond defining ourselves based on oppressive institutions and ask ourselves (and more importantly the communities within which we work and live) how we can best be of service. Social work can be a practice of humility and service, but this requires letting go of ‘should's' and instead asking those around us ‘what' and ‘how'.

Wow... what a ride these last few weeks have been. Aside from making a big move and a shift in my life circumstances, I have been thinking a lot about the direction of my personal and professional life (which feel like live(s) right now!) While I am trying not to be too focus on 'where' I will be when I graduate (ie. work, career path etc) there is a big part of me that is trying to keep this in perspective as well. This is my third degree - and I want to make sure that I am being strategic in my work and how I am working toward my goals. Which brings me to the difficult question: What exactly ARE my goals?

It was helpful to have the group ask me some question in the group seminar the other night. I can see in my own process how my priorities have shifted over the years, and am learning that this is OK, in fact, perfect. Where do I see myself in 5 years, and how does this practicum opportunity related to this vision? What am I trying to prove by thinking about things that don't fit within the context of my life? 

Vandana Shiva: I am drawn to the work of Vandana Shiva because she works with some of 'the core' issues  for me: environment, food security and women's rights and empowerment. All of these factors lead to health and community - I believe in her work, and from what I have learned through the website, Navandanya seems to be a beautiful, well-functioning community of committed individuals. I have emailed them again to enquire about how a project would be established, and what I would have to come to Navandanya prepared to work on. Supervision is also an issue - although I am sure that could be sorted out once I made a commitment there.

IIMC in India feels like it is a good opportunity in other ways. It would be working with maternal/child health (a passion of mine) and seems to be a fairly safe and well-established organization within which a practicum could be easily completed (I like the idea of a lot of the 'details' being worked out)! My hesitation here is that I feel that I have already done things like this before - I worked with the Red Cross in Lao, and I have 'volunteered' at an orphanage in Thailand. What experience would this give me that I have not had before? I also have some concerns about this being an internationally run organization and how this plays out in the local community. It would be difficult to know exactly how this was until I was there on the ground.

Kenya appeals to me because of the connection with the rest of my life. I have worked a bit on HIV initiatives in Guyana, and loved this work, but again, I have to ask myself, why am I here. Other than the fact that I can return here, what would be my role in this organization? How is this role sustainable? Could it be sustainable? It is hard to know exactly about Kenya at this time, because I do not know the specifics of the placement opportunity.... I need more information here.

As I am writing I am realizing that I still do not have enough information to make this decision. I have more communication to do to be able to decide where to go. I am ready to decide once facts are in line, and I look forward to being able to make decisions about the specifics of placement and travel.